About Me
I can first remember being introduced
to alcohol at a very young age, I was still sitting in a high chair
and cutting teeth. To alleviate the discomfort associated with that
particular phase of life, my parents used to rub my gums with the
only alternative they could afford which at that time was obtained
from the local distillery.
This was nothing unheard of at that
time, nor was it frowned upon, it was just a fact of life. There was
always some kind of home brewed beverage available in the house, be
it beer, wine, or liquor. That too was just a part of our lives.
As a kid I can remember being given
watered down wine at dinner, and very light beer in the afternoon. At
gatherings, I can remember sneaking shots, and having some foam, and
heartedly denying the fact that I had done it. I can also remember
sneaking some of my uncles corn and going out by the creek with a
friend and imbibing, then doing the proverbial "Double back flip"
and not remembering anything until I woke up with a blasting headache
and receiving a healthy whopping for taking it.
Through the teen age years my friends
and I got into the same type of devilment that all the kids in our
neighborhood got into, including the drinking of the Red Mountain,
White Corn, and Home Brew. I remember the times of having to put my
foot on the floor while trying to lay on the cot, to stop the room
from spinning. I can also remember my mother making breakfast the
next morning, runny eggs and greasy bacon and making me eat it.
When I left home to go to the Military
is when the drinking became problematic. There was no restraint on
what you drank on Post. As long as you showed up for work the next
morning. Then there was Viet Nam. At this time the downward spiral
into the world of addiction progressively increased in speed. Because
of the things I did while in that country, the fire fights, the close
combat, and the extreme conditions and physical and mental
requirements it became harder and harder to sleep due to the dreams
of the faces, places, and things I had to do in direct relation to my
job.
In order to get some sleep the ever
increasing amounts of lukewarm "33" (beer) aka "Panther Piss"
or the ever present "Jungle Juice" aka "Mojo" were becoming
less and less effective in the "Knock out" department.
Then came "Weed" Then "Speed"
and other various types of drugs designed to alter your state of mind
and body. Uppers, Bennie's, Reds to go on a mission, which at the
least required 72 hours on your feet without stop. Move in fast, get
it done, withdraw fast. No questions asked, no answers given.
Between April 1966 and September 1968
that is what my life consisted of. On return to the "World"
things began to deteriorate at a faster rate of speed, I did not fit
in to the units I was assigned to, I was re-assigned on a regular
basis, I was set in to be evaluated by the "Shrinks" on more than
one occasion. Trouble didn't follow me, it waited for me, and I had
been taught to never back down from anything. Three times I was
denied re-assignment to Viet Nam, the reason given, I had done my
share now it was someone else's turn.
I left the Military and tried to
re-integrate into Civilian life, was that ever a mistake! I got into
more trouble than I did in the Military. The Booze flowed like water,
the drugs were plentiful, it was the age of Woodstock, and Timothy
Leary, "Magic Mushrooms, Peyote buds, LSD-25, Hash, Acapulco Gold,
Mescaline" to name a few. Sex, drugs, and Rock & Roll, I got
into it with both feet. There are time I cannot remember what
happened for days on end. I would start out in one city and end up in
another and not know where I was or how I got there.
I became the guest of many counties
along the way spending at least thirty days in each sometimes 90
days. There were more fights than I could remember, and waking up on
a hospital on more than a few occasions. At this point I decided to
kind of settle in Los Angles area, in particular Long Beach, I
attempted to put my life back together. For a while it worked, I got
into a couple of relationships that soon disappeared after a month or
two, I had four different jobs in a period of two years. The drugging
started to decrease but the alcohol consumption increased.
I wound up loosing another
relationship, the apartment, the bank account and everything else. I
wound up in Baja for a while, at a place called Playa de Ensenada
near San Miguel. For a while I stayed there and went native.
Then I returned to th US and the
Military. Due to the changing views on the morality of the young
soldiers, the Military started to frown upon drinking and
drunkenness, people even Senior people were getting put out for
abusing alcohol.
This helped me change in a way, I began
limiting excessive drinking to Friday and Saturday when I was not on
duty, the rest of the time it was drink to buzz then quit for the
night. Then I met my wife, and between her and a duty assignment I
had as a Detox Specialist (new MOS skill assignment) it was either
quite drinking or loose the Job and my wife. My wife won out, the Job
was extra window dressing. But with the support of my wife, some
friends, AA and of course God (my Higher Power) the drinking faded
into oblivion. It was not easy, but I had something to hang on to, my
wife most of all and to God Who promised to never let go. That was
thirty years ago, today there are four children and six
grandchildren. My wife and I are still together, and looking forward
to retirement.
So you see, it can be done and I am
living proof.
Dman
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